Christmas Greetings

Christmas greetings to all! We spent a wonderful three days in Monterey with Vera's family. We ate too much, laughed a bunch, and had an all around good time. Christmas Eve is when the family was does their gift exchange. While other people were ooh-ing and ah-ing over the gifts they were opening, Zoe, who has not quite caught on to the whole present opening thing, received this small gift bag from Nana (Vera's mom). She emptied out the bag and started putting things inside the bag, and then would walk around holding up the bag saying, "Oooh!" It was very cute.

I have been a great big slacker when it comes to updating this blog. I have some video snippets and cute stories from the past months that I hope to update soon. When I do, I'll back date the posts and at the same time create a new post highlighting the updates.

For now, here's a quick update: Zoe has begun to get used to day care. She willingly holds out her arms to go to Sonja (the day care owner) as we give her a kiss good bye. It's a good feeling to leave there with her not in tears. And she is always happy when we pick her up.

Zoe is changing so much these days. She is learning new words all the time, repeating words we say and experimenting with sounds. She loves to say words with the "s" sound. She says "dis" for "this" a lot and points at things. Other new words are:

"ites" for lights. She stared saying that as the neighbors put up their Christmas lights.
"bees"or "beeths" for strawberries, which she loves!
"ock" for clock.
"eyepoo" for diaper.
"teen" for train.
"ahckie" for broccoli, which she also loves!
"ahpee" which we think is for happy. We're not quite sure what she is saying on this one. Vera thinks it might be a song from day care.

From the Chrebletts, happy holidays!

And check out our Holiday Elfs at http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1126166089

Turkey Sandwich

Thanksgiving was sandwiched this year between Zoe being sick on either side of the Holiday. Last year, she got her first fever on Thanksgiving day. This year, she had the Hand-Foot-Mouth virus in the day's leading up to Thanksgiving, was healthy on Thanksgiving day, then had a cold and cough all week following Thanksgiving.

It's been a stressful couple of weeks. Vera started a new job, Zoe was sick, Zoe started full time day care. So that means little sleep for all of us and lots of emotional ups and downs. Not fun. I even forgot to bring the camera to Thanksgiving feast at Nana's house (Vera's mom).

Zoe is moving through her first-cold-without-fever this week while attending day care full time. I can't begin to describe the heart wrenching feeling to drop off your sick child at a place that she does not want to go to. Today is Friday and she is beginning to feel better. The saving grace is that Sonja, the woman who runs the day care, sent home this lovely picture that Zoe drew yesterday. I almost cried when she handed it to me. It's amazing what a little thing like a first art project can do to make two stressed-out Mommies feel better.

A big thank you goes out to Aunt Jackie for calling every day to see if we needed her to come over to watch Zoe, in the event Zoe was not well enough to go to day care. It meant the world to know there was a back up plan available this week!!!

All I can say is TGIF and TGFFB (Thank goodness for fluffy bunnies).

You decide...

I mentioned in a post the other day (see post called Walking, Walking, Walking and Stacking) that when so Zoe walks, she holds her arms up in such a way that she looks like the Mutant in the closing credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's tremendously adorable.

Here's a clip of her walking taken Sunday Nov 11, next to a clip of the closing Buffy "Mutant Enemy" credits. You decide... Similar, eh? Zoe's cuter though.

Kissing strange boys, already

We went to the Vacaville Outlet Mall today. While we were in the Gymboree store, Zoe walked to the play area where some kids were playing on small chairs. She walked right up to a little boy and said "Hi". He said "Hi" back. Then she made a "mmmm" noise, leaned in toward him with her lips pursed. He obliged by kissing her smack on the lips. Vera and I stood there, jaws dropped and watched. Then we laughed... and then we both said something like, "Oh God, this can't be starting already."

The boy's sister, also named Zoe, told us that her brother was called Tyler and is two. Sigh, and he's an older man...

Walking, Walking, Walking and Stacking

Zoe is walking and loves it. She just walks and walks. She goes from the kitchen to the living room and back. She walks with her hands out in front of her, a bit out to the side with her elbows bent. She looks like the Mutant Enemy animation at the end of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer credits - "Grr Argh" It's tremendously cute.

The other day Vera was in the master bathroom brushing her teeth and Zoe was with her. Zoe walked away thinking Vera was following her. She got down the hall and once she realize that Vera was not there, she turned around and walked back through the bedroom to the bathroom.

This past weekend we had the quintessential family moment. We went out for breakfast as a family. Afterwards Zoe wanted to walk out of the restaurant, she made it very clear that she did not want to be carried. So Vera and I each took one hand and the three of us walked out along the side walk, Vera holding her left hand, me on the right. It was such an amazing feeling. Later we went into San Francisco and did the same thing walking down the street.

Zoe loves putting things away. She will stack blocks in the kitchen cupboard - one by one she will pick up a block, walk into the kitchen, open the cupboard place the block on a shelf, close the door, walk back to the stack of blocks and do it all over again. This kept her occupied long enough for Vera to make dinner the other night.

Zoe even helped me put soccer balls in the ball bag the other day. I had pumped up 5 soccer balls in the living room before my game. I said to her, "Can you help Mommy put the balls in the bag?" I didn't have to show her what to do, she knew! She picked up a ball, walked over to the bag carrying the ball and dropped the ball into the bag as I held it open. She did the same with each ball. It's amazing to realize how much she understands. I'm sure all parents feel their kid is extremely smart and we are no exception!

Bloody Halloween and The Golden Snitch

So, it's Halloween day... and I'm at work when I get a call from Vera. Zoe had just fallen, hit her mouth on a chair and was bleeding - a lot. Vera, understandably panicked by the amount of blood, dialed the first number she thought of, my cell phone. It's so much easier to be calm when you are not at the scene of a bloody screaming child... So I did my best to reassure Vera that mouths can bleed a lot. I offered to call the nurse at our pediatrician's office while Vera comforted and cleaned up Zoe. I called the nurse and realized that I couldn't describe what was going on 'cause I was not there. Doh, silly me! I gave the nurse our number and she called Vera. Five minutes later Vera called me back sounding much calmer. The bleeding had stopped while on the phone with the nurse. Vera was able to see the imprint of Zoe's bottom teeth on the inside of her bottom lip. Thankfully, the cut was shallow. The nurse had also suggested that Vera feel Zoe's bottom teeth and make sure they were not loose at all. They were not. Whew! After all was said and done, Zoe had a fat lip on Halloween day.

Fat lip or not, nothing was going to keep us from taking Zoe out for her first ever Trick or Treating. I dressed as Harry Potter, the youngest Quidditch Seeker in a century. Zoe was the Golden Snitch (costume hand made by my mom, thanks Grammy). Vera was a trooper and agreed to take part in my Halloween Pottermania and dressed as a Hogwarts student from Gryffindor House.

We took Zoe 'round to a few of our neighbors' houses. She just watched - not knowing what to do with the pumpkin shaped treat bucket. One neighbor goes all out every year with decorations... They've got fog machines, huge spiders, tombstones, screaming noises, and a robot with a bloody chain saw that actually runs. Tonight he was dressed up as a scarey troll thing and wandered around the front lawn not saying a word, his wife dressed as the cat in the hat. Zoe was fine walking through the yard until the cat in the hat started talking to her. Then she started crying, and began to get leary of the troll. Time to head to the next house!

It was fun to take her out. After we got home, Zoe had her first candy, a sour apple blow pop. The fat lip didn't stop her from putting the whole thing in her mouth. She likes it!!!

The Pumpkin Patch

We had a play day at Moore's Pumpkin Patch. Vera, Zoe and I had such a great time last year that we decided to go again this year with Zoe's favorite playmates "The moms and their boys".

Last year, Zoe was so little that we were not able to enjoy the rides. This year Zoe could enjoy the fun. Check out last year's blog post from 10/23/2006: A weekend of outings. She loved riding around in the wagon, with her buddies, Mackey, Enzo and Evan. Zoe would stand up in the wagon and bounce/dance to the music blasting from speakers everywhere. It was quite adorable.

Zoe LOVED the giant slide. She is a girl with the need for speed!! Both Zoe and Mackey laughed and smiled from ear to ear the whole way down! And although Enzo and Evan had serious looks on their faces on the first run, they both wanted to go down a second time! The kids also rode the jet ride, the train, and played on a kiddie bus.

It was a truly fun day - we're not sure who had more fun, the babes or the moms. (We'll say the babes had more fun, and "wink" knowing that carnival rides are a great excuse for us all to find the kid inside.) The only bummer for the day was that it was so late in the season, that there were no medium or small pumpkins left - only large fugly shaped ones. I think we were the only ones of our group to actually get a pumpkin, it is large, but not too fugly. Note to self, we should go earlier next year.

Here are some video highlights and a short slide show.

Zoe's first trip to Michigan and Walking

We've just returned from Michigan. Zoe took her first plane ride, met her cousins Maggie and Samantha, ate her first strawberries (and LOVED them), played with Grammy and Grandpa, met several life long friends of mine and last but not least, finally started walking!!! Some highlights:

Walking
After posting several weeks ago that Zoe had taken her first step, she had not taken any more steps until a few days before leaving for Michigan. While in Michigan, she started daring a bit more and more. On Friday, the day before flying home, she began taking 4 or 5 steps at a time, trying to get to a big ball. She LOVES balls. After missing the first few times, I was able to record these steps on video.


Fever they day we left
Zoe developed a fever the night before our flight out. By 2 AM on Saturday 10/13, her temperature was 102, no other symptoms. We decided to pack up the car, leave a bit early and stop in the pediatrician's office, unannounced, on the way to the air port - with the hope that they could squeeze us in to make sure Zoe did not have an ear infection. Can I just say, I love the folks at our Pediatrician's office. They worked us in, even though they had a full case load on a Saturday. Turned out there was no ear infection, probably the beginning of a cold or a delayed reaction to immunizations she received a few weeks earlier. So we were clear to fly! (The fever turned into a cold, which was subsequently passed to Vera and my dad, ah germs!)

The Flights
After weeks of anticipating that Zoe would be antsy and fussy on the plane, we had an uneventful flight! Zoe sat on either one of our laps and watched her Signing Time DVDs the whole way. On the way home we were able to get three seats together so we strapped in Zoe's car seat and she slept 3 of the 5 hours. Check out these clips, waiting at the gate at SFO and Zoe's first plane ride.



The People
Zoe met my life long friends the Sandbergs (who drove 3 hours each way in one day just to meet her) and the Taubes (alas, not all of the Taube clan were able to make it, hopefully next trip!) Also my dear friend Teresita also drove 3 hours each way in one day to meet her. It was wonderful to have these important people, my extended family, meet her. Zoe also got to meet her cousins, Maggie and Samantha and her Aunt Kaite. All three of the girls got along and really enjoyed playing together. How cool it was to have my brother's kids playing with my kid. I guess I'm still in awe that both my brother and I are parents. Zoe had such a great time the first evening they met, that after she left, she hung out by the door waving and asking for the babies to come back. She calls all kids "babies", check out this video.



Grammy's Birthday
The main reason for making this trip at this time, was to celebrate my mom's birthday. Grammy was in heaven. She had all of her grandchildren there to blow out the candles with her. It was truly a special celebration. Check out the video of Zoe playing with Grammy's musical birthday card. A gift for my mom was to have professional photos taken of our family. Which we did.




A concert and 2 movies
Vera and I took in a Brandi Carlile concert and two movies. It was great to be able to leave Zoe with my folks, who were more than happy to spend quality time with her, and have some quality time of our own.

It was a great trip!

Another Graduation

Nurse Linda has closed Zoe's case! Her last visit was today.

Linda is a nurse for the county's state funded Medically Vulnerable Infant Program. A program for babies (and their parents) who were born premature and/or with birth related medical conditions. She has been visiting us since shortly after Zoe came home from the NICU.

At first she came to our home weekly, then every other week and recently monthly. Each visit she weighed Zoe and played with her. The visits were to help make sure Zoe continued to hit all of her developmental milestones. Normally Linda follows babies until they are two years old. However, because Zoe is so healthy, Linda decided to close her case early! "She is so smart! I wish all the babies in my case load did this well. I hardly ever see a baby born as early and tiny as she was do this well!"

Thanks Linda for all of your support over the past 13 months! We are very grateful for everything!

Vera's MBA Graduation from St. Mary's

Vera's MBA graduation ceremony was today. The morning started out with Vera putting her gown and hood in the drier to get out the wrinkles. The instructions say to do that. (Who'd a thunk that there was such a thing as the American Council on Education code of Inter-Collegiate Costume that's comes up with this stuff???)

Any hoo... after the drier, Vera tried on her collegiate costume, only to discover that the hood appeared to be torn at the inseam. Panic ensued, and she called the St. Mary's MBA program coordinator and left a message. "My hood is torn, do you have any spares?"

The woman called back (she was checking her work voice mail on a Sunday) and she had a spare hood. We got there early and as it turns out, the hood was fine. We were pulling too much of the pouch out of the hood out, they never sew them all the way up (I'm going to write a letter to the Inter-Collegiate Costume folks that their documentation sucks, graduates just don't need that stress). Whew! The plus was that Vera had an experienced person to get that hood folded and hanging just right over her robes!

After that was sorted, we arrived for a brunch celebrating students graduating with honors.

Here are three videos:

The first (top) is of the graduates walking in. It was held at the St. Mary's chapel, one of the priests was playing the pipe organ. Unfortunately he did not play "Pomp N Circumstance". It was strange not to have that played during the procession.

The second (middle) is of Vera receiving her diploma.

The third (bottom) is Vera and other classmates standing as they are being recognized for graduating with honors.

Vera did not walk in her undergrad graduation ceremony (I dunno why, she jsut didn't want to). So I told her she MUST walk in this one. Thanks to Vera's sister's boyfriend, Mike, for taking these Videos!

Finally, the Final Final

This evening Vera, with all her fortitude and fastidiousness, finally finished the final final for her MBA qualification. For Vera it still feels like fiction. As for me, I am filled with felicity! My fantasies of frolicking on weekends at farmer’s markets, free from the confines of Vera’s homework performance can finally come to fruition.

Oh, for f*ck's sake, enough of the effing alliteration already...

Felicitations Vera, your offspring and wife feel you are magnificent!!!

Adoption Finalized

Vera's adoption of Zoe was finalized in court today. It was a pretty short process. After being bounced from building to building, at the Contra Costa County Superior Court, we finally found the correct building and floor. There were four other families there, they called us in one-by-one. We were second. Once inside, we sat "informally" at a table (not in front of the bench) with the Judge, a court reporter, and two other court aids. The judge gave Zoe a cute stuffed white bear, which she loved. The bailiff stood behind us, the only guy in the room. Vera was asked to swear that she will take care of Zoe as her own, for good bad, good and poor health (it was similar to the traditional wedding vow and even the judge got a bit choked up). Vera said "I do". Then they asked me if I agreed to the shared parental agreement. I responded, "Absolutely". We signed some papers. Then took this picture, in it with us are a plush white bear, Judge Brady and our attorney, Deborah Wald.

So, you may be asking, why did Vera have to adopt Zoe? Here's the rub...

In California, if you are registered with the state as same-sex Domestic Partners, and bring a child into the relationship, both partners are recognized as legal parents. So if we never leave California, there would be no reason to go through this process; it's legally redundant. However, if we should travel to another state, Vera would have absolutely no legal parental rights over Zoe. (We can thank the Republican Defense of Marriage Act for that). The same goes for traveling outside of the US.

However, there is something in Federal Law (possibly in the US Constitution, I'm a bit fuzzy on this stuff) called the Full Faith and Credit Clause for Court Orders, whereby court orders made in one state must be enforced in all other states. An adoption is a court order. So our status as domestic partners should never come into play, as Vera was made a legal parent with out any connection to our relationship. Both Vera and I must be recognized as a full legal parents for Zoe. The scary thing is that some states (hospitals in other states) have started to challenge the parental rights of adoptive parents in same-sex relationships. Check out this horrifying story.

So to sum it up, we paid several thousand dollars for a court order that:
1. Is legally redundant under current California law
2. Should be legally recognized by any and all other US states and around the world, but some states are deciding not to abide by federal law.

Does it make me feel any better now that the adoption was finalized today? Frankly, I don't feel any different about our family than I did when I woke up this morning. To me we're both Zoe's parents no matter what the law says, but I am very aware our rights could be taken away on the whim of some conservative bigot.

Nu Shus

We got Zoe her first pair of new shoes today. They are totally cute!

As we rode down the escalator to Stride Rite in Sun Valley Mall, Vera holding Zoe and me pushing the stroller, I recalled shoe shopping with my Mom as a kid. We can joke about it now, but at the time... let's just say that my mother's and my taste in shoes were very different and neither of us enjoyed the experience. So, I made a mental note to really try to pay attention to Zoe's non-verbal clues and to help her actively participate in the process of choosing her first pair of shoes.

Vera and I picked out three pairs, then whittled it down to two. One was a variation on the classic white leather above the ankle lace up shoe that people used to bronze (Do people still bronze baby shoes????). The other was a below the ankle shoe with a Velcro strap, brown with pink trim.

Vera really liked the idea of the "classic first shoe". So we asked the sales woman put on the white shoe first. Zoe started screaming before we put her on the ground. She was shaking her feet frantically trying to shake the foreign things on them off. First we tried to get her to stand, she simply did not want to stand in them. Vera then put her down on the floor and she would not crawl, she just sat there and cried. The sales woman said that babies often have this reaction with their first shoes and that it can take a few days to get used to them.

I suggested we try the brown ones, as they did not come up around the ankles making them less restricting. And, voila, Zoe was obviously much more comfortable in these... She stood holding the bench and cruised a bit, and then got down on all fours and started crawling. We had a winner! It took less than 20 minutes.

So for our first shoe shopping adventure, we all left happy with the purchase (I ignored the fact that my wallet felt lighter). I hope future shoe shopping is that easy!

First Step!!!!

Zoe took her first step today. I was at work so here's Vera's account of the event (paraphrased from her telephone account to me):

Zoe was crawling away across the living room floor. I started after her saying, "I'm coming to get you!" She was giggling. She made her way over to the pack 'n' play and pulled herself up to a stand. She turned toward me, let go of the pack 'n' play, and reached her hands out to me. Then she took a step and leaned toward me, hands in the air knowing I would catch her. As I caught her, we both laughed. It was so exciting!

The fact that she took her first step on her one year anniversary of coming home from the NICU makes the achievement of this milestone all the sweeter.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

This past week Zoe seems to be going through some subtle but incredibly noticeable cognitive changes. She's talking more and more. Using more signs. Climbing on her bike. Trying to put our shoes on her feet. She's even "feeding herself" with a spoon.

Here is an example: Vera had placed a Paul Simon CD case on the kitchen table. In the photo, on the CD cover, Mr. Simon is wearing a hat. While Vera was holding her, Zoe starting patting her hand on her head. We couldn't figure out what she was doing. Until Vera looked down, following Zoe's gaze, and saw the CD case, "That's right he's wearing a hat!" Very subtle, but quite astute! That's our smart girl! ;)

Talking and Signing Like Crazy!

It's amazing! Zoe has all of the sudden started talking up a storm and using signs in the appropriate places.

She's got lots of words and signs and she seems to show that she's learning new ones every few days. She's also physically starting to try out more things. She attempts to climb up onto the "orange" chair all by her self, and can just about do it!

Words that Zoe says:
Mama
Bye-bye = the obvious, but we also think that she thinks it means car.
Boon = balloon
poon = spoon
Baw = Ball
Baby
Pa-Pe = puppy
Mee-mee = Mickey mouse doll
Ga = possibly means car, we're not sure
Baba = bottle
Uhoooh = Uh oh
Maamay = Mommy

Signs that she does (the ones that we can decipher):
Baby
Ball
Book
Dog
Eat
Brush teeth
mom
shoes
owie
please
bath
hat

This one time, at gay camp...

We went camping in Guerneville this past weekend with Zoe's friends Mackie, Enzo and Evan (we lovingly refer to them as "The Boys") and their moms Rachel and Chris, Adrienne and Colleen, Chris and Karin.

Four babies, eight moms and lots and lots of fun. It was an incredibly fun filled weekend. We swapped food, kids, stories, and laughter. Each family had a "cabin", a one room cabin with a futon bed and table. Day time fun included swimming in the Russian River, playing in the park. There was also a BBQ event for gay families at one of the local resorts. Evenings were spent with babies sleeping and moms sitting 'round the camp fire talking and playing guess the celebrity.

Some memorable moments include: Bacon and cupcakes for breakfast (for the moms); a several course meal including cous cous, flat bread, several kinds of salad, burgers, sausages, chicken, smores, bourbon and cherry soda, vodka and blood orange soda; neighboring campers singing "Super Freak", "Mrs. Robinson" and varous Stevie Wonder songs accompanied by an accordion; and all four babies in one pack n play (see clip).

STANDING!

Zoe stood all by herself today, no leaning, no support. It was long enough for Lori to take this picture while Vera watches excitedly!

A Visit from Uncle Mike

Zoe finally got to meet her Uncle Mike today. Mike, Lori's brother, finagled a business trip to San Francisco and spent the day hanging out with Zoe and Lori.

We went to Zoe's Music Together class and sang and danced. Afterward we hung around in Berkeley and Walnut Creek. Then met up for dinner with Vera (who was studying for mid-terms during the day).

Zoe enjoyed time with her uncle. Lori and Mike got to spend some quality time together for the first time in... well, in a very long time. It was a most enjoyable day!

Some photos:

Bad Hair Day?

This is a photo of Zoe after waking from her afternoon nap today. No joke, her hair did this all on it's own!

Partay at Zoe's Crib

What a great day! We had a back yard full of family and friends to celebrate Zoe's first birthday. We have pictures and videos galore. There were friends that had not met Zoe yet, and people we had not seen in over a year. It was wonderful to celebrate this landmark event surrounded by so many people. Enjoy the slide show!

First Birthday photos

We had a wonderful day! The three of us got up went out to brunch at IHOP (our favorite brunch place was closed for remodeling). Opened presents. Mama got Zoe a Lil Tikes car. Cousins Samantha and Maggie got Zoe a Lil Tikes Kitchen. Then Grandma and Grandpa came over. They had gotten Zoe some Disney shares. So the got her a stuffed Mickey Mouse. She LOVED all of her new toys. Later we went out to dinner with Uncle Bob and Aunt Jackie at The Dead Fish Restaurant in Crocket.

To Zoe on your first Birthday

A year ago today, you were forced to take on physical, emotional and mental challanges that most babies are not expected to do - you were born before you were ready to be born. My body shut down on the both of us. We were seperated from the bond of the womb too soon with no birth right of passage or bonding time. We didn't even get to meet until 5 days after your birth.

Now, as I look back on that day and the 364 days since then, I am simply amazed and inspired by your spirit, your strength and your growth. You were breathing on your own with in 12 hours of your birth. Regulating your own temperature within 3 weeks. Came home practically the day you would have come home had you been born on your original due date. After that you have flourished... Lifted your head at 4 months, Rolled over at 5 months, sat up-right at 6 months, started eating solid foods at 6 1/2 months, pulled yourself up to a stand at 10 months. Once you start walking, you'll be trying to run!

You wake up every morning with a smile on your face. You hug and kiss me even when I don't ask for it. You continue to try to do tasks even when you've tried unsuccessfully before. It only takes you once or twice to stop doing something when it hurts and then you find ways to do it with out the hurt. Every day, something that amazed you yesterday still amazes you today. You freely laugh and squeal with excitment and cry without reservation.

These are things you just do, because that's what you do. Even as I am trying to teach you the ways of the world, you teach me about life and better ways in which I can live in it.

Thank you for being in my life, I don't know how I ever got along without you.

Mommy

Mothers' Day

Mothers’ Day... That is not a typo. It is grammatically correct in our family’s case. It’s amazing that what looks like an insignificant move of an apostrophe, is much more significant…

Several weeks ago, my then 9 month old daughter got her first nasty cold virus turned ear infection… 103 degree fever, crying to be held all night long, etc…

At one point, while I was holding her during a 3:00 AM crying session, she wailed out “Ma-ma”! It was a first! She had only just started putting consonants together. While feeling so badly, she cried out for her Mama! Even though I knew she felt awful, I was elated! My elation quickly turned to heartbreak as I realized she was not calling out for me, she was calling for her other mother, my wife/partner. I was not the mom she wanted to be comforting her when she was sick; I was not the mom that her apparent first spoken words were referring to.

At was at that point that it hit me: I really am one of two moms - I am not the sole mom. My mom didn’t have this conundrum; she knew her parental role purely by social norms and gender role standards. She was “supposed” to be the nurturer, the caretaker. In my case, I am sharing my mom role with another. In our home there are two of us that have the maternal desire to be the nurturer for our daughter, “The Mom”.

So this Mother’s Day, we joked with each other: Who makes breakfast in bed for whom? Do you make me breakfast in bed and then I take you out for dinner? How do we do this?

I realize that “Mother’s Day” is only a Hallmark Holiday and best taken with a grain of salt… But our society makes a very big deal of it. And, well, damn it, I do want the same recognition that all the other Moms are getting; I am a mom after all. In 21st century America, when two-Mom and two-Dad households are starting to become more commonplace, I still find that it is hard to get my mind around this idea of being one of two moms.

As a way to make it personal for me, I borrowed from the Mother’s Day tradition of my Dad. He used to get my Mom three carnations every Mother’s Day (he still may do this, I should ask him) one red, one blue and one pink. The red symbolizes his love for her, the blue represents my brother and the pink represents me. So I got my partner 2 carnations, a red for my love for her, a pink to symbolize our daughter and I decided to add a third, orange, as a wild card, a “just because”. Unconsciously, I found a way to represent each of us in our unique place in this family. I think I’ll change up the color every year – to keep it interesting.

We ended up spending the day together, the three of us. We went to a local farmer’s market, had lunch at a small cafe, strolled around outside, and had a nice dinner on the patio of a Mediterranean restaurant. Plus, on Saturday night my partner and I had our first night out. We went to a fundraiser for NCLR and spent the evening with a few thousand lesbians including several other two mom couples. So all in all, it was a great Mothers’ Day weekend. It helped too that our daughter had started reaching for me instead of her Mama on some occasions since that night too.

We’ll have to think of something creative for next year to continue to make it special for all of us as a family and to recognize both of us moms – Mothers’ Day. I think it will just be a matter of making that day our own and try not to get sucked in to all of the social norms. Plus I’ll have to come up with a fun color for that third carnation!

Banana Phone

(This entry was the first blog entry that I ever wrote and published. The others with an earlier date are taken from my journal entries and added this blog later.)

It's inevitable...my first blog entry and my mind goes numb. The only words I can grab are "Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring Banana Phone!" Alas, such is the life of a mom. Before I was a mom, I had regressing social skills because my job kept me in front of a computer screen all day, with little human face-to-face interaction. Then, I became a mom, singing silly (but catchy!) songs to help lull my sweet Zoe to sleep - consequently my adult conversation skills went even deeper to the way side. Now, I'm back at my computer during the day, and singing Banana Phone and Bling, Blang Hammer with my Hammer in the evenings. So, in the spirit of combining my days at the computer and my nights singing Banana Phone here are some hyper-links to different versions of the Banana Phone song:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/06/bananaphone.html
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgerphone.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsBTo5LExr0
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bpvid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFFH8DaOHQg (different song, but gets in your head just the same)

A Harry Potter Version: