Adoption Finalized

Vera's adoption of Zoe was finalized in court today. It was a pretty short process. After being bounced from building to building, at the Contra Costa County Superior Court, we finally found the correct building and floor. There were four other families there, they called us in one-by-one. We were second. Once inside, we sat "informally" at a table (not in front of the bench) with the Judge, a court reporter, and two other court aids. The judge gave Zoe a cute stuffed white bear, which she loved. The bailiff stood behind us, the only guy in the room. Vera was asked to swear that she will take care of Zoe as her own, for good bad, good and poor health (it was similar to the traditional wedding vow and even the judge got a bit choked up). Vera said "I do". Then they asked me if I agreed to the shared parental agreement. I responded, "Absolutely". We signed some papers. Then took this picture, in it with us are a plush white bear, Judge Brady and our attorney, Deborah Wald.

So, you may be asking, why did Vera have to adopt Zoe? Here's the rub...

In California, if you are registered with the state as same-sex Domestic Partners, and bring a child into the relationship, both partners are recognized as legal parents. So if we never leave California, there would be no reason to go through this process; it's legally redundant. However, if we should travel to another state, Vera would have absolutely no legal parental rights over Zoe. (We can thank the Republican Defense of Marriage Act for that). The same goes for traveling outside of the US.

However, there is something in Federal Law (possibly in the US Constitution, I'm a bit fuzzy on this stuff) called the Full Faith and Credit Clause for Court Orders, whereby court orders made in one state must be enforced in all other states. An adoption is a court order. So our status as domestic partners should never come into play, as Vera was made a legal parent with out any connection to our relationship. Both Vera and I must be recognized as a full legal parents for Zoe. The scary thing is that some states (hospitals in other states) have started to challenge the parental rights of adoptive parents in same-sex relationships. Check out this horrifying story.

So to sum it up, we paid several thousand dollars for a court order that:
1. Is legally redundant under current California law
2. Should be legally recognized by any and all other US states and around the world, but some states are deciding not to abide by federal law.

Does it make me feel any better now that the adoption was finalized today? Frankly, I don't feel any different about our family than I did when I woke up this morning. To me we're both Zoe's parents no matter what the law says, but I am very aware our rights could be taken away on the whim of some conservative bigot.