Make your Yule-tide gay and let your heart be light

No we can't.... not any more

An Open Letter to Barack Obama (I sent this to the Obama campaign today. I doubt that I'll get a response...):

History was made yesterday... for the first time in American history, the people in one state voted to take away existing rights for a single group of people by writing discrimination into their state constitution. California's Proposition 8 passed, effectively taking away the right of two people of the same gender to get married.

Just moments before you walked out on the stage to make your acceptance speech in Chicago, I was checking my home voice mail. The one message I had received was your voice on a Yes for Prop 8 robo call, saying: "I believe that marriage is a union between a man and a woman". That was, literally, moments before you spoke to the American people and said, "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer..." I can't express to you the complexity of emotions I felt at that moment.

Yes, it is true, the power of democracy spoke... it spoke to take away my fundamental rights... I can no longer marry the woman I love, who I have been with for 14 years. No, I can't.

How do I tell our two year old daughter about this day? Do I tell her that it was a joyous day in American history? No, I can't.

I know the economy is the most important issue this country faces right now. My worry with your future presidency is that people like me will stay second class citizens during your tenure, because there are "more important" things to deal with. I was a very early supporter of your campaign. I supported you because I believed you when you said that the country needs change and that the LGBT community is part of your vision of change. I have a good job, I have good health insurance, I can pay my mortgage (even if my mortgage is close to being more than my house is worth). But today, I am still a second class citizen, simply because of who I love. In my heart, I am convinced that your words, "I believe that marriage is a union between a man and a woman." have participated in allowing people to think it's OK to discriminate against folks in same gender relationships.

Today you celebrate your historic campaign, one that gives the hope to young American kids that they can do anything. That is an amazing message, one that should not be minimized or ignored. But I just cannot get beyond the message that my daughter hears every day, one that has now been enshrined into law, that her two moms' relationship is not a true marriage, not a real union. And that the president who ran for office on a platform of change and the dream of all things are possible in America, supports that message. I cannot tell her that separate is equal. No, I can't.

You made some promises to our community, if elected. You said you would: Get rid of Don't ask/Don't tell, Get rid of DOMA, create equality for LGBT people all across this country. I hope you keep those promises. I will be watching you, my daughter will be watching you. I hope you understand that it won't be until people in public office on a national level do the right thing, like Abraham Lincoln did, and take a stand against discrimination that this kind of discrimination will not go away. Until politicians believe and understand that civil unions are not the same as marriages and that the 1100+ federal rights that married couples are granted must be granted to any couple that wants to marry, regardless of gender, this kind divisiveness will remain the standard. We cannot continue to allow states to write discrimination into their Constitutions, the document who's sole purpose is to establish rights not take them away. No, we can't.

Third time's a charm

We eloped in Lake Tahoe this weekend. This time it's legal! After two previous ceremonies (the big "traditional" one in June 2000 and the "activist" one in San Francisco in February 2004), we thought we'd do something small and intimate, just for us.

The ceremony took place on Saturday at Skylandia Park just east of Tahoe City. It was a lovely private ceremony. Our friend Dannielle, who lives in King's Beach, joined us to witness the ceremony (and also jumped in to play photographer and baby sitter too). The weather was gorgeous!

We started off the ceremony standing on an over look of Lake Tahoe. It was beautiful. Zoe, surprisingly, agreed to sit in her stroller. All was going smoothly until half way through our vows, Zoe started calling, "Help, help, out, out!" She was wrestling with the stroller shade that had fallen down over her so that she could not see. All we could see was her little legs kicking and flailing. After several unsuccessful attempts continue the ceremony with Vera and I trying to hold Zoe while she squirmed to get down, we decided to move and finish the rest of the ceremony in an area that was fenced off so that she could run around freely. Ceremonious interruptus... Yup, basically it reflected our family life these days. C'est la vie...

After the ceremony, we took a walk down to the lake and Ann Poole, the officiant took some photos. Below are some photos that we took over the course of the weekend and Danninelle took during the ceremony. Thank you Dannielle for taking some great photos!

Birthday at Nana's

Vera's mom threw Zoe a wonderful Birthday party for Zoe's 2nd birthday. Family friends Teri and Ron were there, Vera's brother, Micha, plus Nana (Vera's mom, Lidia) and cousin Stephanie (we call her "Tia", aunt Stephanie) too. They all made the celebration very special. And little Miss Z got some great gifts, two baby dolls, a baby doll stroller, Mr. Potato Head, and a fun "water table".

Before we headed to Nana's we made a stop at Toy's R Us. Zoe had fun playing on the Jeeps while we were there.

I got more video than photos at the celebration. So, I'll upload photos for now and will have to back post with videos some other time. Here's a slide show of our day:

Naked Finger Painting

Enzo and Mackey and their moms came over yesterday for "Naked Finger Painting". Unfortunately Evan and his moms were all under the weather and were not able to join us. We had lots of fun (but it was not the same with out Evan). We ate and played. The kids painted on the paper, them selves and each other. They played with cars, balls, balloons and then all had some fun jumping on Zoe's bed and in our bed. We love spending time with these families!!!

Happy 4th of July

Friday was the 4th of July! Zoe enjoyed waving the Pride flag while playing on the American flag.

Zoe and I went over the Bob and Jackie's while Vera worked. We then met Vera in Emeryville her for dinner! We decided to skip the fireworks this year.

Whew June was crazy

Wow it's been a very busy month! Vera spend two weeks traveling from Hong Kong to Macau back to Hong Kong on to Kula Lampur and back to Hong Kong again and finally home. Here is a link to her trip photos on Flikr. While she was away, my folks flew in to help out with Zoe. It was a HUGE help to have them here. Zoe had a great time with Grammy and Papa! They did lots of fun things, including a trip to Habitot Children's Museum.

Vera turned thirty something a few days after she returned from her trip. We celebrated by spending the morning walking around College Street in Rockridge. In the evening we celebrated with some dear friends, Barb and Kathy, who we had not seen in several months. Here's a photo with the cake that had all thirty something candles. Vera could not blow them out - luckily Kathy is a clarinet player and had the lungs to get them out before the house caught fire.

Speaking of fire, the California wild fires have been horrible. The sun has been blocked by smoke and "particulate matter" making it a pukey orange-pink color. Today was the first day that the sun light looked somewhat normal, and we could actually see Mt Diablo in the distance.

We went to see Sesame Street Live with Zoe's friend Mackey. They both loved it. The cool thing was it kept their attention longer than any of us expected. Zoe talked about it all the way home in the car. She even talked about it for the next couple of days. "Big Bird dancing" or "Elmo singing". It's amazing, she really does appear to be remembering things and is able to talk about them later. (Her verbal skills have started to flower. Also on the drive home, Zoe said from the back seat, "Tummy hurts". She threw up shortly after we got home. That was the first time she was able to communicate with us that something was wrong. And both she and Vera then had a bout of the intestinal flu.) Here's a short slide show from the show:



This past weekend was San Francisco Pride. We did the Pride 5K run on Saturday. OK, well Vera did the run while Zoe and I did the walk. It was great fun! Zoe loved the balloons and the butterfly banners that are hanging on the posts through Golden Gate Park. "Futterfly, Mommy!"

On Sunday we marched in the Pride Parade. We joined the Our Family and COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) parade contingent. This was the first year that Zoe marched. Last year we didn't get there on time. Zoe had a great time! She sat on one of our shoulders most of the time and waved to the crowd. She even let strangers come up and put Marti Graw beads on her. After the parade, we happened to walk by SF Mayor Gavin Newsom and took a quick photo.



I sold my Jeep today. I was sad yesterday after the guy (a fella named Chris from Sausalito) came by and we made the deal. He came back today and picked it up, paid in cash. I've had that Jeep for 10 years. So many memories. But I'm happy that it's going to be used for what it's meant for, hanging out in Tahoe, instead of sitting in my garage.



As for Zoe... She's putting sentences together.... "I no like it". She said this when we gave her rice milk instead of regular milk. She understands the concept of two... I was playing with her the other day and she saw our two cordless phones sitting on the desk next to each other. With out counting she pointed to them and said, "Two Phones". This evening as Vera was getting ready to read her a bed time story. I leaned over the give her a kiss goodnight and she said "Two Mommies". Then she took my face and gently pushed it over to Vera's face and said "Mommy, kiss mama." Enough said on that one.

Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Today is "Blogging for LGBT Families Day". It's a day where people from all over use their blog to celebrate their Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgendered family. So, I attempt to join in the fray with this little contribution...

For folks who are stumbling across this blog for the first time, welcome to the House of Chreblett! We are a house of 3 gals: A lesbian couple, Lori (that's me) and Vera, and our daughter, Zoe. We live in the San Francisco area. I use this blog as a way to to keep friends and family in touch with what we're up to. I try to post things once a month or more. So, please read through and enjoy -- post a comment if you like!

Zoe is a little over a month away from her 2nd birthday. As so many people have said, time flies, they grow up very fast. And other times, it goes by sooooo slowly. (Like last week while Zoe and Vera were both sick with a nasty cold... I was up with Zoe all night while she coughed, running the shower every 90 minutes to help her cough loosen so that she could sleep.)

She's definitely growing and I just can't seem to keep this blog up to date with all the things she does. In the last week she has finally started saying her name. She'll cover her face and say "Zoe?" - this is her way of getting you to play "Where's Zoe?" like peek-a-boo. The word explosion continues - including putting multiple words together. "Mommy, 'mere" (that's Mommy come here) or "Toys, open please?" (Asking to open the tinker toys can).

The photo above is a recent shopping trip. Zoe got some new sandals and had to wear them immediately. This photo was so much like a "paparazzi" shot that I had to post it.

Because it's LGBT Family Blogging day, I feel that I need to write something to acknowledge this day. I knew that having a child would challenge me in ways I never expected. I have been out of the closet in just about all aspects of my life; at work, my doctors, dentist, etc... I didn't realize, however that I would have to come out in an even bigger way once I became a parent... At baby n' me classes (of any sort), the grocery store, the play ground, day care and anywhere where there are other parents and their kids. "I'm one of Zoe's mom's" always get's me a blank stare from the other parent, then their eyes focus with understanding, followed by a brief pause, then different reactions.... awkwardly finish the conversation and move on, or ask a ton of questions that they may not ask any other parent, or continue talking because it's a non-issue. But I ALWAYS anticipate a very negative reaction. I struggle with that every time I go into a situation where there are parents and their children that I don't know. Internally I ask myself, "How do I deal with this?" and "Why do I feel so awkward? " I think about Zoe and what my behavior models for her. In the end I try to work out what is comfortable for me in that moment and at the same time helps teach Zoe to be proud of her family. Sheesh, this parenting thing is hard!

Tiju/Malcom

Greetings from Michigan. Zoe and I made the trek here last Saturday, May 3. (The plane ride you ask? Well let's just say, I'm considering starting a Care2 petition to require that all airplane bathrooms have a changing table). On Sunday we drove across the state to Reed City to visit my friends Teresita and Tammy - and meet their 2 month old son, Hunter. It was wonderful to see them! On Tuesday, Zoe and I drove back across the state. While driving, I took about 30 minutes of video to log what it's like to drive across the state of Michigan. I hope that someday I'll be able to edit that footage into something I can post on You Tube. My current video editing software sucks.

The rest of the week we hung out with my folks, my brother and his family and some very close and long standing family friends. We even made a trip to the Zoo and saw Polar Bears. And it's amazing that she has learned signs that we've never practiced with her. At the zoo today, we saw a seal and she did the sign for seal with out prompting. I'll add a photo slide show with more from this week to this post once I have them up loaded.

So, what in the heck is Tiju/Malcom? It's the way Zoe says Thank you and Your Welcome. She has had an absolute verbal explosion in the past 2-3 weeks. She knows the entire alphabet. It's amazing! Even on this trip the new words just keep coming, music is the newest word. She is starting to put sentences together, "Water, please Mommy" (yes she does say please, thank you and your welcome). She has started to sing as well, and will sing along when we sing to her. I have some of this on video... I do hope I find some easy video editing software soon. So watch for updates to this post.

Ahpo

I had an especially fun evening with Zoe tonight. Vera has been in Chicago on business travel this week, so Zoe and I have been hanging out. We've both been sick with a cold, but we both slept well last night, so a night on the town was in order. After picking her up from day care, we went out to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen in Walnut Creek. Our table was situated by a window that looked across the street to the Apple Store. For those that know Walnut Creek, the Apple Store has a HUGE white Apple on the store face. Every time we pass this sign, whether walking or driving by, Zoe points and says, "Ahpo, ahpo!" which is her way of saying "Apple, apple". So all through dinner and on the way out of the restaurant, she kept saying, "Ahpo, ahpo!" I was reminded of my brother describing how he used to drive by the McDonald's arches with my then 2 or 3 year old niece, and she would point and say "Mmmm, french fries!"

Anyway... I decided to take her over to the store. We walked across the street and up the side walk to the store. At one point, we could no longer see the big Apple, and she said "Bye, bye" to the Apple. Once arrived in front of the store, I told her to look up and pointed to the big apple above. And then she saw it, "Ahpo, ahpo, ahpo, ahpo!" She just stood there looking up. I decided to take her inside the store. She would not have it. She squirmed out of my arms and ran back out the door. She just wanted to look up at the apple sign. A couple of the teen aged staff members of the store came to watch this cute little toddler look up and say "Ahpo, ahpo". I couldn't help but wish I had and iPhone to take a short movie of this to send to Steve Jobs. Hey, I need some seed money for Zoe's college fund!

We've had some fun visits in February. My parents were here for a week in mid February. I have not posted photos from that trip yet because I need to get the photos from my Dad's camera once they return from their mission trip to help rebuild homes in the New Orleans area. Check out the web site for their trip, Katrina Relief Mission. Also, my good friend Keith visited last weekend (see post from 3/3/2008).

A Visit from Keith

My very good friend, Keith, visited this weekend and met Zoe for the first time. He flew in on Friday, and left early this morning. We had a great time!! Friday we went to Walnut Creek for dinner. Saturday we went to the park and in the afternoon, Vera and Zoe went out while Keith and I geeked out and set up my Hogwarts Express Lionel train set (Finally! And, it blows smoke!)


Sunday we went out to breakfast. I dropped Keith off at SFO, and headed off to my soccer game, when Keith called me saying his flight had been canceled. Doh! He even works for the airlines, and we both forgot to check that before we left the house. So, we got to spend an extra night with him!! It was wonderful to see him. It had been close to 11 years since we last got together. I love it when you can finally see someone after that long and still feel the closeness as if we were both still in our early 20 and glued at the hip, never apart. Here are some photos from our visit.

H is for Here Comes the Sun!

Happy Valentines Day!

Holy Crap! I'ts been a month-and-a-half since I've updated this blog. It's been an eventful couple of months. Let's just say I've been in a fog and the blog has not been very high on the priority list. My apologies to any one who has been checking this since Christmas....

December and January are completely foggy for me, as I have been dealing with some extremely painful pinched nerves in my neck due to buldging disks. I've been on vicodin, percoset, and prednisone. Needless to say, that's where the fog comes in. I also received two rounds of cortisone shots into the swollen nerves in my neck. So my entire body has been a mess since the beginning of December. Finally this week I'm at a place where I don't have to take much in the way of pain medication. And my poor immune system is still reeling and trying recover (after several colds and sinus infections).

We spent New Year's Eve with Vera's Mom in Novato. Zoe and Vera slept in Vera's old room, and I had to sleep upright on a chair in the living room. (It's only been since late January that I've been able to sleep lying down consistently.) It was a lovely evening, good food, good company. With my family so far away, I'm so grateful that we have Vera's Mom so close by.

In Mid-January, we went to Tahoe with our "Mom's Group". We had 8 moms and 4 toddlers in a rented home in the snow. It was great fun. I have lots of photos and videos to edit from that trip. I hope to post them in the near future. While there, Zoe turned 18 months old, she hit the 1 1/2 year mark. Amazing... time sure does fly.

It's worked out that at least one of us has been sick consistently for the past 2 months - aside from my whole neck pain stuff... Vera had the flu just this past weekend and has been crazy busy with her new job.

And Zoe, well she simply continues to amaze us. Her vocabulary grows and grows. She has started to learn letters of the alphabet. "H" is one that she really likes to say. She also knows, A, B, F, I, H and P. One thing that she started to do around Christmas/New Years is call me "Mommy" and Vera "Mama" which is a thrill! We both have our own name! She also knows to call Vera's mom "Nana". She calls my Dad "Papa" for Grandpa and for my Mom, Grandma comes out kinda like Mama or Nana.

She loves to run now too! She dances when Signing Time is playing. She loves to stomp. Whe she dances she seems to keep the beat. It's incredibly adorable. She's simply just a whole lot of fun right now. I'm just bummed that I have not been myself physically, as I can't always get down on the floor and play with her or pick her up easily.

Day care is going well--she naps really well there. But she has been sick quite a bit since she started there. Hand-foot-mouth, colds, coughs, now an ear infection. We feel like we live at our Pediatricians office. At one point, mid January, she was coughing and wheezing so hard that her pediatrician told us that if it got much worse she may have to be hospitalized. Fortunately, the prednisone she took both orally and inhaled by nebulizer helped reduce the inflammation in her lungs, avoiding the hospital. Whew! She remains on a nebulizer treatment once a day and will do so until the end of cold/flu season this year. As soon as she got better from that, she got an ear infection. So it's just been on thing after another,as I mentioned, with one of the three of us being sick consecutively pretty much since early December.

The weather has been feeling like spring is on it's way... The sun has been out and the rain has stopped. All of us are hopefully on the mend. My neck is doing much better. We all seem to be moving toward recovering from what ails us. -Knock on wood- So, H is for "Here Comes the Sun!"

I hope to add some back dated posts with Christmas, Tahoe trip and other fun things, likie Zoe eating broccoli and stomping in the rain in her new rain boots soon. I'll do my best to make it before the end of the month.

Till then... Here Comes the Sun. Doot-n-doo-doo, here comes the sun. And I say: It's alright!