Bloody Halloween and The Golden Snitch

So, it's Halloween day... and I'm at work when I get a call from Vera. Zoe had just fallen, hit her mouth on a chair and was bleeding - a lot. Vera, understandably panicked by the amount of blood, dialed the first number she thought of, my cell phone. It's so much easier to be calm when you are not at the scene of a bloody screaming child... So I did my best to reassure Vera that mouths can bleed a lot. I offered to call the nurse at our pediatrician's office while Vera comforted and cleaned up Zoe. I called the nurse and realized that I couldn't describe what was going on 'cause I was not there. Doh, silly me! I gave the nurse our number and she called Vera. Five minutes later Vera called me back sounding much calmer. The bleeding had stopped while on the phone with the nurse. Vera was able to see the imprint of Zoe's bottom teeth on the inside of her bottom lip. Thankfully, the cut was shallow. The nurse had also suggested that Vera feel Zoe's bottom teeth and make sure they were not loose at all. They were not. Whew! After all was said and done, Zoe had a fat lip on Halloween day.

Fat lip or not, nothing was going to keep us from taking Zoe out for her first ever Trick or Treating. I dressed as Harry Potter, the youngest Quidditch Seeker in a century. Zoe was the Golden Snitch (costume hand made by my mom, thanks Grammy). Vera was a trooper and agreed to take part in my Halloween Pottermania and dressed as a Hogwarts student from Gryffindor House.

We took Zoe 'round to a few of our neighbors' houses. She just watched - not knowing what to do with the pumpkin shaped treat bucket. One neighbor goes all out every year with decorations... They've got fog machines, huge spiders, tombstones, screaming noises, and a robot with a bloody chain saw that actually runs. Tonight he was dressed up as a scarey troll thing and wandered around the front lawn not saying a word, his wife dressed as the cat in the hat. Zoe was fine walking through the yard until the cat in the hat started talking to her. Then she started crying, and began to get leary of the troll. Time to head to the next house!

It was fun to take her out. After we got home, Zoe had her first candy, a sour apple blow pop. The fat lip didn't stop her from putting the whole thing in her mouth. She likes it!!!

The Pumpkin Patch

We had a play day at Moore's Pumpkin Patch. Vera, Zoe and I had such a great time last year that we decided to go again this year with Zoe's favorite playmates "The moms and their boys".

Last year, Zoe was so little that we were not able to enjoy the rides. This year Zoe could enjoy the fun. Check out last year's blog post from 10/23/2006: A weekend of outings. She loved riding around in the wagon, with her buddies, Mackey, Enzo and Evan. Zoe would stand up in the wagon and bounce/dance to the music blasting from speakers everywhere. It was quite adorable.

Zoe LOVED the giant slide. She is a girl with the need for speed!! Both Zoe and Mackey laughed and smiled from ear to ear the whole way down! And although Enzo and Evan had serious looks on their faces on the first run, they both wanted to go down a second time! The kids also rode the jet ride, the train, and played on a kiddie bus.

It was a truly fun day - we're not sure who had more fun, the babes or the moms. (We'll say the babes had more fun, and "wink" knowing that carnival rides are a great excuse for us all to find the kid inside.) The only bummer for the day was that it was so late in the season, that there were no medium or small pumpkins left - only large fugly shaped ones. I think we were the only ones of our group to actually get a pumpkin, it is large, but not too fugly. Note to self, we should go earlier next year.

Here are some video highlights and a short slide show.

Zoe's first trip to Michigan and Walking

We've just returned from Michigan. Zoe took her first plane ride, met her cousins Maggie and Samantha, ate her first strawberries (and LOVED them), played with Grammy and Grandpa, met several life long friends of mine and last but not least, finally started walking!!! Some highlights:

Walking
After posting several weeks ago that Zoe had taken her first step, she had not taken any more steps until a few days before leaving for Michigan. While in Michigan, she started daring a bit more and more. On Friday, the day before flying home, she began taking 4 or 5 steps at a time, trying to get to a big ball. She LOVES balls. After missing the first few times, I was able to record these steps on video.


Fever they day we left
Zoe developed a fever the night before our flight out. By 2 AM on Saturday 10/13, her temperature was 102, no other symptoms. We decided to pack up the car, leave a bit early and stop in the pediatrician's office, unannounced, on the way to the air port - with the hope that they could squeeze us in to make sure Zoe did not have an ear infection. Can I just say, I love the folks at our Pediatrician's office. They worked us in, even though they had a full case load on a Saturday. Turned out there was no ear infection, probably the beginning of a cold or a delayed reaction to immunizations she received a few weeks earlier. So we were clear to fly! (The fever turned into a cold, which was subsequently passed to Vera and my dad, ah germs!)

The Flights
After weeks of anticipating that Zoe would be antsy and fussy on the plane, we had an uneventful flight! Zoe sat on either one of our laps and watched her Signing Time DVDs the whole way. On the way home we were able to get three seats together so we strapped in Zoe's car seat and she slept 3 of the 5 hours. Check out these clips, waiting at the gate at SFO and Zoe's first plane ride.



The People
Zoe met my life long friends the Sandbergs (who drove 3 hours each way in one day just to meet her) and the Taubes (alas, not all of the Taube clan were able to make it, hopefully next trip!) Also my dear friend Teresita also drove 3 hours each way in one day to meet her. It was wonderful to have these important people, my extended family, meet her. Zoe also got to meet her cousins, Maggie and Samantha and her Aunt Kaite. All three of the girls got along and really enjoyed playing together. How cool it was to have my brother's kids playing with my kid. I guess I'm still in awe that both my brother and I are parents. Zoe had such a great time the first evening they met, that after she left, she hung out by the door waving and asking for the babies to come back. She calls all kids "babies", check out this video.



Grammy's Birthday
The main reason for making this trip at this time, was to celebrate my mom's birthday. Grammy was in heaven. She had all of her grandchildren there to blow out the candles with her. It was truly a special celebration. Check out the video of Zoe playing with Grammy's musical birthday card. A gift for my mom was to have professional photos taken of our family. Which we did.




A concert and 2 movies
Vera and I took in a Brandi Carlile concert and two movies. It was great to be able to leave Zoe with my folks, who were more than happy to spend quality time with her, and have some quality time of our own.

It was a great trip!

Another Graduation

Nurse Linda has closed Zoe's case! Her last visit was today.

Linda is a nurse for the county's state funded Medically Vulnerable Infant Program. A program for babies (and their parents) who were born premature and/or with birth related medical conditions. She has been visiting us since shortly after Zoe came home from the NICU.

At first she came to our home weekly, then every other week and recently monthly. Each visit she weighed Zoe and played with her. The visits were to help make sure Zoe continued to hit all of her developmental milestones. Normally Linda follows babies until they are two years old. However, because Zoe is so healthy, Linda decided to close her case early! "She is so smart! I wish all the babies in my case load did this well. I hardly ever see a baby born as early and tiny as she was do this well!"

Thanks Linda for all of your support over the past 13 months! We are very grateful for everything!

Vera's MBA Graduation from St. Mary's

Vera's MBA graduation ceremony was today. The morning started out with Vera putting her gown and hood in the drier to get out the wrinkles. The instructions say to do that. (Who'd a thunk that there was such a thing as the American Council on Education code of Inter-Collegiate Costume that's comes up with this stuff???)

Any hoo... after the drier, Vera tried on her collegiate costume, only to discover that the hood appeared to be torn at the inseam. Panic ensued, and she called the St. Mary's MBA program coordinator and left a message. "My hood is torn, do you have any spares?"

The woman called back (she was checking her work voice mail on a Sunday) and she had a spare hood. We got there early and as it turns out, the hood was fine. We were pulling too much of the pouch out of the hood out, they never sew them all the way up (I'm going to write a letter to the Inter-Collegiate Costume folks that their documentation sucks, graduates just don't need that stress). Whew! The plus was that Vera had an experienced person to get that hood folded and hanging just right over her robes!

After that was sorted, we arrived for a brunch celebrating students graduating with honors.

Here are three videos:

The first (top) is of the graduates walking in. It was held at the St. Mary's chapel, one of the priests was playing the pipe organ. Unfortunately he did not play "Pomp N Circumstance". It was strange not to have that played during the procession.

The second (middle) is of Vera receiving her diploma.

The third (bottom) is Vera and other classmates standing as they are being recognized for graduating with honors.

Vera did not walk in her undergrad graduation ceremony (I dunno why, she jsut didn't want to). So I told her she MUST walk in this one. Thanks to Vera's sister's boyfriend, Mike, for taking these Videos!

Finally, the Final Final

This evening Vera, with all her fortitude and fastidiousness, finally finished the final final for her MBA qualification. For Vera it still feels like fiction. As for me, I am filled with felicity! My fantasies of frolicking on weekends at farmer’s markets, free from the confines of Vera’s homework performance can finally come to fruition.

Oh, for f*ck's sake, enough of the effing alliteration already...

Felicitations Vera, your offspring and wife feel you are magnificent!!!

Adoption Finalized

Vera's adoption of Zoe was finalized in court today. It was a pretty short process. After being bounced from building to building, at the Contra Costa County Superior Court, we finally found the correct building and floor. There were four other families there, they called us in one-by-one. We were second. Once inside, we sat "informally" at a table (not in front of the bench) with the Judge, a court reporter, and two other court aids. The judge gave Zoe a cute stuffed white bear, which she loved. The bailiff stood behind us, the only guy in the room. Vera was asked to swear that she will take care of Zoe as her own, for good bad, good and poor health (it was similar to the traditional wedding vow and even the judge got a bit choked up). Vera said "I do". Then they asked me if I agreed to the shared parental agreement. I responded, "Absolutely". We signed some papers. Then took this picture, in it with us are a plush white bear, Judge Brady and our attorney, Deborah Wald.

So, you may be asking, why did Vera have to adopt Zoe? Here's the rub...

In California, if you are registered with the state as same-sex Domestic Partners, and bring a child into the relationship, both partners are recognized as legal parents. So if we never leave California, there would be no reason to go through this process; it's legally redundant. However, if we should travel to another state, Vera would have absolutely no legal parental rights over Zoe. (We can thank the Republican Defense of Marriage Act for that). The same goes for traveling outside of the US.

However, there is something in Federal Law (possibly in the US Constitution, I'm a bit fuzzy on this stuff) called the Full Faith and Credit Clause for Court Orders, whereby court orders made in one state must be enforced in all other states. An adoption is a court order. So our status as domestic partners should never come into play, as Vera was made a legal parent with out any connection to our relationship. Both Vera and I must be recognized as a full legal parents for Zoe. The scary thing is that some states (hospitals in other states) have started to challenge the parental rights of adoptive parents in same-sex relationships. Check out this horrifying story.

So to sum it up, we paid several thousand dollars for a court order that:
1. Is legally redundant under current California law
2. Should be legally recognized by any and all other US states and around the world, but some states are deciding not to abide by federal law.

Does it make me feel any better now that the adoption was finalized today? Frankly, I don't feel any different about our family than I did when I woke up this morning. To me we're both Zoe's parents no matter what the law says, but I am very aware our rights could be taken away on the whim of some conservative bigot.