No we can't.... not any more

An Open Letter to Barack Obama (I sent this to the Obama campaign today. I doubt that I'll get a response...):

History was made yesterday... for the first time in American history, the people in one state voted to take away existing rights for a single group of people by writing discrimination into their state constitution. California's Proposition 8 passed, effectively taking away the right of two people of the same gender to get married.

Just moments before you walked out on the stage to make your acceptance speech in Chicago, I was checking my home voice mail. The one message I had received was your voice on a Yes for Prop 8 robo call, saying: "I believe that marriage is a union between a man and a woman". That was, literally, moments before you spoke to the American people and said, "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer..." I can't express to you the complexity of emotions I felt at that moment.

Yes, it is true, the power of democracy spoke... it spoke to take away my fundamental rights... I can no longer marry the woman I love, who I have been with for 14 years. No, I can't.

How do I tell our two year old daughter about this day? Do I tell her that it was a joyous day in American history? No, I can't.

I know the economy is the most important issue this country faces right now. My worry with your future presidency is that people like me will stay second class citizens during your tenure, because there are "more important" things to deal with. I was a very early supporter of your campaign. I supported you because I believed you when you said that the country needs change and that the LGBT community is part of your vision of change. I have a good job, I have good health insurance, I can pay my mortgage (even if my mortgage is close to being more than my house is worth). But today, I am still a second class citizen, simply because of who I love. In my heart, I am convinced that your words, "I believe that marriage is a union between a man and a woman." have participated in allowing people to think it's OK to discriminate against folks in same gender relationships.

Today you celebrate your historic campaign, one that gives the hope to young American kids that they can do anything. That is an amazing message, one that should not be minimized or ignored. But I just cannot get beyond the message that my daughter hears every day, one that has now been enshrined into law, that her two moms' relationship is not a true marriage, not a real union. And that the president who ran for office on a platform of change and the dream of all things are possible in America, supports that message. I cannot tell her that separate is equal. No, I can't.

You made some promises to our community, if elected. You said you would: Get rid of Don't ask/Don't tell, Get rid of DOMA, create equality for LGBT people all across this country. I hope you keep those promises. I will be watching you, my daughter will be watching you. I hope you understand that it won't be until people in public office on a national level do the right thing, like Abraham Lincoln did, and take a stand against discrimination that this kind of discrimination will not go away. Until politicians believe and understand that civil unions are not the same as marriages and that the 1100+ federal rights that married couples are granted must be granted to any couple that wants to marry, regardless of gender, this kind divisiveness will remain the standard. We cannot continue to allow states to write discrimination into their Constitutions, the document who's sole purpose is to establish rights not take them away. No, we can't.